No Fear in Love - The Fundraiser's Key to Asking

My friend, Beth, recently asked me what I was up to while we were having lunch, and I shared that I was preparing to ask someone for a gift for a ministry. When I shared the amount of the ask, my friend's eyes opened as large as half-dollars and she said nervously, "Oh, I just couldn't do that! Aren't you afraid of asking for so much?"

"Well, there was a time when I just started fundraising that the ask amount put a lump in my throat, but once I learned three things and practiced them regularly I actually l found that I enjoyed asking for money," I said with a smile.

"Really? I don't know anyone who likes to ask for money. What were the three things you learned?" Beth asked.

"The first was that money is relative. Some people can give a little and some can give a lot. I can follow a hunch on how much to ask by a person's lifestyle or things I know about them, but there are people I call "salt of the earth" who don't show their wealth and it can be difficult to know how much to ask. So, if I don't know how much to ask, then I'll share the big vision and overall goal with them of what I'm working on and see where and how much they might want to give."

"Isn't that scary? What if you ask for too much? What if the person isn't interested?" Beth asked, still nervous.

"Well, when I asked for my first gift of $25,000, I had a hunch the person would give that amount, but I must admit I had never asked for that amount from anyone, and I certainly wasn't in a position to give that much either, so I had a mix of emotions from excited to nervous to feeling like I could ruin a relationship. What happened, though, was the person said 'No, but I will give $10,000.'"

"Whoa!" Beth said in a slow, contemplative way. "He really said that?"

"Yes," I said, "And that lead me to the second thing I learned, which was to ask. So many times, people want to know how they can support, but they aren't asked. In this case, my friend was honored to be asked and couldn't wait to jump in and do more as a volunteer as well as a giver."

"Yeah, but I have a hard time asking," Beth shared, eyes looking down at her feet.

"Well, here's the secret I learned that was the key to me feeling confident to ask anyone for a gift."

Beth looked up with hopeful curiosity.

"The secret is the third thing I learned, which is There is No Fear in Love. That comes from the Bible in 1 John 4:18. Once I took that wisdom and applied it to asking, I realized my fears were an obstacle to not only if I would ask someone for a gift, but also how I would ask for a gift."

"What do you mean," asked Beth starting to show some courage.

"Ultimately, if I 'love my neighbor as myself,' then I love them even in asking them for something," I stated.

"I don't quite understand. How's that possible?" asked Beth.

"Well, I must believe what I'm asking for is good for the other person. Is it good for them to give? Absolutely! It's 'more blessed to give than receive.' Is it good for them to give to a cause I'm presenting to them? I believe so, but if not then I've found people react by simply not showing an interest. But, they were thankful I thought of them." I shared.

"Here's the thing," I continued. "Once I learned this key to fundraising, I was able to ask people for much more of people than they had ever been asked. I've been able to 'lean not on my own understanding,' but on the patience and gentleness I've learned from God's teaching to confidently ask people for $5 million, $10 million, even $50 million. The monetary amounts were relative to each person, I just needed to ask, and do so knowing there is no fear in love when fundraising. That's the key! What I offered to them was good for them and I was honored to offer them the opportunity to give! If they said 'yes' or 'no,' that didn't change our friendship."

Beth looked at me with new eyes, chin up, with a smirk and said, "That is so encouraging ... how about you buy lunch today?!"

I ended up buying lunch and was happy to do so!

You know, in that short conversation, I could see Beth's mind and heart changing right before me.

She got it and so can you!

Remember to ask in love. Bless you, Derek